An Interview With Myself

CG: Hello, Self. How are you doing today?

CG: [Sniffles.] Pretty poorly, as my allergies hate me today. To be honest, about five minutes ago my nose practically exploded the average amount of rainfall in the Amazon--

CG: Yes, I'm sure that's a lovely picture. [Clears throat.] But what are you working on today?

CG: [Rubs sleep from eyes.] Umm, I don't know. I started a fanfiction last night because Marguerite and I had been talking about pigeons and--

CG: Are you even slightly coherent right now? Why are we doing this if you can't even make yourself sound charming?

CG: I've never been good at charming and you know it.

CG: But you can at least fake it--

CG: In text. Sometimes. If I'm lucky.

CG: Which is why we're not recording this and we're writing it out.

CG: But we're typing.

CG: Details, details...

CG: Okay, okay. Let's start over. What was the question?

CG: What are you working on?

CG: [In an aside to Self:] Do I lie or--

CG: [Evil glare.]

CG: Okay then. Umm... I'm working on a fanfiction. But I'm also working on Demonized, the first in what I hope will be a four part series. (I've already got titles going in my head: Demonized, Tracked, Seized, and Delivered.)

CG: The famous one-sentence plot... Go!

CG: Teagan Parks has been told her whole life that Demons are horrible creatures, but on her sixteenth birthday, she becomes one, and has to go live in the tunnels they've created called the Underworld. As she discovers this new world--

CG: FAIL! That's two sentences.

CG: Technically one and a half--

CG: Still, fail! If you can't get your plot down to one sentence, you have work to do. Try again.

CG: [Sighs.] When homeless Teagan Parks wakes up on her sixteenth birthday Branded with the sign of the Demon, she goes to live in the Underworld, only to realize that this is not the home she needs... Better?

CG: We're getting there. Slowly.

CG: Sigh.

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Clearly, I'm writing today. Er, trying. Arguing with myself doesn't help much, does it?